Are you « too nice »? Constant People Pleasing Can Be Unhealthy

It’s natural to want to please others when it comes to the various relationships in our lives. Whether it’s doing a favor for a colleague or going above and beyond for a significant other, pleasing people can satisfy a natural need to want to help out. However, you can run into problems if you’re trying to please others all the time.

No one wants to be an emotional doormat for others. You can’t constantly bow to the every need of the people in your life; your kindness will be taken for granted, and you’ll find yourself doing favors for others rather than spending the time you need for yourself.

Saying “yes” to everyone will result in emotional stress, poor self-esteem, and the inability to say “yes” to yourself. It isn’t healthy.

But what does people pleasing actually look like, and when does it become real problem?

  • You have a hard time saying “no” to others.
  • You find it hard to voice your own opinions or assert yourself.
  • You can’t handle rejection from others.
  • You’re suffering from how much you do for the people in your life.
  • Your self-confidence is lower than it should be.
  • You seek others’ approval whenever you can.
  • What other people think is most important.
  • You can’t handle criticism.

This list can go on and on, but those are the most common signs that you have a problem with pleasing others excessively. It’s also been found that people pleasing can connect to other social conditions like borderline personality disorder and social anxiety disorder.

There is nothing wrong with being nice. Nice people are likeable, and for good reason, but being overly nice opens dangerous doors for the people in your life.

It will lead to your niceness being taken advantage of, and it will result in a number of developing social issues. You might suppress a great deal of emotion, feel extreme pressure to keep up appearances, feel a need to be in control all the time, or feel like people don’t really know the true you.

Essentially, constant people pleasing is not healthy. It can cause unnecessary amounts of stress, anxiety, and lead to more serious neurological conditions. You can’t expect to please the people around you all the time, and the people around you shouldn’t expect you to either.

If you feel like you’re being taken advantage of by the people in your life, it may be time to examine those people themselves. If you don’t stand up for yourself or be more assertive, you could find yourself in a bad place emotionally. Don’t let yourself be stepped on.


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